SINGAPORE – Adultery and extramarital flings are ancient vices, but with dating applications such as Tinder, and other social media platforms, a whole new world of infidelity is now an easy swipe or a click away.
- Easy access to dating apps and social media have made it easier for people to engage in extramarital sex
- A counsellor said he saw roughly a doubling of couples seeking help due to online infidelity since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic
- Some cases involved wives who have strayed
- In many cases, the online affairs are a symptom of a wider problem such as a troubled marriage and poor coping mechanisms, experts say
Eveline Gan
SINGAPORE – Adultery and extramarital flings are ancient vices, but with dating applications such as Tinder, and other social media platforms, a whole new world of infidelity is now an easy swipe or a click away.
Marriage counsellors and therapists who spoke to TODAY said that the accessibility of online platforms has provided wider opportunities for people to engage in illicit affairs and have sex outside committed relationships – with most of these activities exposed only when the person is caught.
Last week, a 47-year-old married man was jailed for engaging in paid sex acts with a 15-year-old girl he had met on Sugarbook. The dating site links up younger women, or “sugar babies”, with older men who are expected to pay for their companionship.
Dr Martha Tara Lee, a relationship counsellor and clinical sexologist with Eros Coaching, said that online cheating has been happening for some time.
“It can be used to facilitate romance in a long-term relationship or ple, for flirting, to set up time and space for romance. Those who have the intention to (have affairs) can also use it to facilitate cheating,” she said.
Besides dating apps that allow people to connect, there are also apps that facilitate timed messages that expire, providing a channel for discreet communication. One can also find and potentially hook up with random strangers on messaging apps such as WeChat and Telegram, Dr Lee said.
Mr Ronald Lim, head of Reach Counselling Service, said that online cheating may be harder to detect, given its discreet nature. Coupled with easy access, it may be tempting for people who are unhappy with their relationships or are looking for excitement outside marriage.
“As we are now always on our phones reading the news, texting, emailing, watching videos, the person may not know what her spouse is doing unless she’s seated next to him,” Mr Lim added.
Even though everyone now uses a smartphone, it is not true that online cheating is harder to detect, he said.
“It works both ways. I’ve seen people who are caught, because their wives checked their phones or other devices that are linked to it.”
Over at the Grace Counselling Centre, Mr Chua estimated that couples seeking counselling due to online infidelity have doubled since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic.
“It’s becoming very common and I’m not surprised to hear about such cases. It’s like Covid-19 – it’s everywhere. And it’s not just the guys (who are straying),” he added.
In about a fifth of the cases he has seen, it is the woman who has strayed. Most are in their 30s.
Among the cases that Mr Chua recently encountered is a Singaporean couple in their 30s who had sought professional help to save their ily friend saw the husband’s profile on Tinder.
‘It’s like Covid-19, it’s everywhere’: Dating apps, social media make it easy for people to swipe right into infidelity
“He was doing it for months and his wife never noticed. When she found out, she was super shocked – something I would consider a red flag in their marriage,” Mr Chua said.